169 – Give Me Stock Buybacks or Give Me Death

Competitive grave digging in “vampiric” Eastern Europe. The world's tallest jail—who dare says the US can't still aspire to greatness? In China, fifty year old “Uncle Chen” can beat the average marathon time—while chain-smoking the whole way. The constellation of handlers, pharmacists, and groper-conversion-therapists that comprise “Joe Biden” asked the “Presidential Emergency Board” to weigh in on the nightmarish and recently revisited railroad union “negotiations,” only to discover the irrefutable fact that “capital investment and risk are the reasons for their profits, not any contributions from labor”. There's an epidemic-level population of enraged upper-class nose-biters out there. Heroic man in Japan harasses cops every 6 minutes for 9 days straight. US continues to steal 80% of Syria's oil supply while occupying 1/3 of its landmass. Rightwing lunatics continue to get angry at LGBT books while enlisting their daughters in pedo-parades.

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